Super Bowl: Game's commercials judged all too quickly

The Web Devil staff had the tough assignment of picking out the cream of the Super Bowl commercial crop. Here are their picks for the best displays of shameless capitalism.

Spicy, sexy woman steals show

I can’t say that I’ve ever liked the taste of Tabasco sauce, but I like the spicy woman who appeared in the condiment company’s commercial during Sunday’s Super Bowl.

The Tabasco Company airs only one televised ad per year, and for the last few years it’s appeared during the Super Bowl. This year’s ad was quite clever and my personal favorite.

A gorgeous woman in a white bikini with little Tabasco logos all over it is sun bathing on the beach. The camera cuts quickly between different shots of her, exposing her sexiness as she slowly struts her stuff around the beach. She enters her beachside villa and splats a little Tabasco into her cocktail sauce. After eating, she steps toward a mirror and lifts her bikini strap to reveal a tan line that has developed under her bikini, rather than on the skin around it.

A little Tabasco with breakfast is really beginning to seem like a hot idea.

–Daniel Swier, Associate Editor

Zany twist ending makes for great gimmick

The award for the best commercial of the night goes to the Ameriquest ad featuring a man getting wrongfully beat down by some convenience store clerks, finishing with the tag line “Don’t judge too quickly”. This ad, shown during the first quarter and followed later by another ad with the same tag line, was a pleasant surprise. Initially, you really have no idea what is going to transpire.

That is, until the twist ending. Mr. Hands-Free Cell Phone repeatedly says to an unseen person on the other end of the line, “you are getting robbed.” Of course, he is speaking figuratively about a bad deal that person has gotten. But the store staff gets scared and then Mr. Cell Phone gets some pepper spray in the eyes, and even some prodding with a shock stick of some kind. This ad was classic.

–Zach Amarillas, freelance writer

Don’t judge this one too quickly, either

With a less-than-exciting game taking place, my Super Bowl party guests talked only during game play and never during commercials. The expensive ads seemed to steal the show this year.

The top of my favorite commercial list was Ameriquest’s ad showing a man cooking a surprise dinner by way of an ominous-looking knife. The man’s cat walks along and knocks over a pot of red sauce. The man picks up the sauce-covered cat just as a woman walks through the door. The last shot shows the man holding a threateningly large knife in one hand, and the cat covered in sauce in the other hand. Coincidentally, the sauce is the same color as blood.

The words “Don’t Judge Too Quickly” flash on the screen, and the advertisement continues to assure customers that the insurance agency wouldn’t judge too quickly either. This shockingly funny commercial nearly caused me to miss the following commercial.

Although I tend to love the commercials featuring monkeys, I was not quite as intrigued by’s commercials about monkeys making one man’s career seem like a terribly dead-end job. I preferred the cat commercial.

–Laura Winger, freelance writer

Mr. Clean and Mr. Peanut, together at last

The MasterCard animated dinner commercial, aired during the fourth quarter, was one of my favorites. The ad featured a dinner table with many of the popular mealtime mascots, such as the Starkist Tuna, the Jolly Green Giant, the Pillsbury Doughboy, Chef Boyardee, the Morton salt girl, Mr. Peanut, The Vlasic Pickles stork and Mr. Clean. I thought the commercial was cute and creative for incorporating all the classic mealtime friends.

–Brenna Miller, freelance writer

Monkeying around

My favorite commercial was for, just at the beginning of the second half. I liked when the man in the commercial told the one of the monkeys, “You didn’t dial a number; You’re not talking to anyone.”

–Ryan Olson, freelance writer

A few side effects

I liked just about all of the aformentioned ads, so I don’t want to sound like a broken record. I was especially charmed by Ameriquest’s ongoing joke of “Don’t judge too quickly” that recurred in both halves of the Super Bowl. The company certainly got everyone’s attention. But you, dear reader, have already heard about those ads.

Since I probably am the most cynical beast in this online jungle, I’ll mention an ad that was funny without even trying to be funny. I got a ton of amusement out of a Cialis ad early in the second half. The ad had a lot of images of men being manly and embracing their women and fishing and so on, so forth.

It was all pretty relaxing and serene. But the unseen voice-over guy was saying lots of things that just didn’t match the peaceful, nature-infested scenery. Men could experience a variety of health difficulties including heart problems or–gasp–an erection lasting more than four hours.

Guys: Remember to see a doctor if either thing happens. Ads for such drugs often point out that the latter occurrence is rare. Hopefully the former occurrence is rare as well. I also find it funny that such ads run in so-called “Prime Time” marketing slots, when supposedly impressionable children are watching. Of course, Cialis has nothing on Janet Jackson’s pierced nipple.

Now if I could only remember what Ameriquest actually does….

–Nicole Saidi, Online Editor in Chief